One Twittish Minute
December 18, 2010
“@X @Y geht jemand von euch an die swiss online marketing am 1./2. april?”
Newtech driven solutions to current online media oppurtunities don’t just formulate themselves. They have to be moulded into post-spatial dynamics of true human interactivity, lovingly, with your hands.
Rudolph Bieswald worked from home, in an apartment that would have looked like an office, if it hadn’t look even more like the cover of the Fall edition of the German 2009 IKEA catalogue.
He had been formulating strategic forward-plans for upwards of eleven hours. He picked out his mobile phone from a cluster of confusing and soon to be obsolete electronics. “Need an iPhone,” he thought. “That would be cool. He called up Everett, his personal dietitian.
“Or maybe a Nexus One. The iPhone is for accountants and their dumb, hipster spawn. I don’t really use iTunes or any of that, and the Android system is easier to integrate with Google apps…”
He was put on hold. Everett was talking to one of his numberless other clients. “Where’s the health crisis coming from,” thought Rudolph. “Everyone’s got a dietitian these days. My dietitian!
“Maybe I should tweet that.”
He logged into his twitter account and out of habit started going through the accounts he was following. A few new posts. He forgot about… whatever it was.
“@X yup, that’s why i try to build real web assets. it’ll pay off in the longterm. though i don’t think it’ll change within 3 months”
It was almost embarrassing to Rudolph, sometimes, how immature the internet community was. Just because you’re working in a market with low-entry capital barriers doesn’t mean that you’re not still in a competitive world. “Strategic thinking still matters people, even if you’re working out of your parent’s granny-flat!”
“When am I supposed to get any exercise if he never picks up his phone?”
“Good evening, Herr Bieswald,” said a thickly accented Austrian voice over the line, “And how are you this evening?” Everett was actually in New York. Hiring a dietitian in an alternate time-zone allowed Rudolph to consult him outside of business hours without paying the premium rates normally associated with after-hours service.
“Good enough, Herr Heindler,” boomed Rudolph. He always greeted people in a voice like a Shakespearean king’s. He leaned back and opened out his chest as he spoke, more out of habit than anything, since Heindler clearly couldn’t see him. It showed confidence, established the kind of image he wanted to project in his social and business relationships. “So I’ve been doing a lot of advanced cognitive work today,” Rudolph began, leaning back over his desk, shoulders hunched in the professional body-language for candidity and frankness, “and I’m going to be progressing further into the work tonight before a shorter period of domestical power-relaxation. I’ll probably have a similar day tomorrow, and might not even find myself able to achieve a time-solution for my regular cardiovascular maintenance activities in the morning. So my question is, do you recommend that I continue in my regular high-protein diet, or could I optimise my performance by adjusting my nutrient balance to maximise my short-term gastronomical efficiency?”
“I think you should go to sleep.”